Mariah Carey does not need your redemption talk, s'il vous plait et merci. But admittedly, her New Year's Eve performance Sunday was infinitely better than the lip-synching disaster of 2016, and it was just weird enough to provide us with our very first meme of 2018.
Warmly ensconced in the bleached hide of Falkor, the golden diva and the two full-sized Tiffany chandeliers hanging from her ears wailed us into the New Year. There was confetti and sparkly nude illusion dresses and a little gospel choir and expert vocalization. It was all very on-brand.
But perhaps nothing was more on-brand than when Mariah paused between songs to ask for some hot tea.
"They told me there would be tea," she said, looking perplexed. Despite the hellish cold of the evening, there was not.
"Oh, it's a disaster. Okay, well, we'll just have to rough it. I'm going to be like everybody else, with no hot tea."
The word iconic gets thrown around a lot, but really. Hot tea. The most blas- "disaster" ever uttered. Being like EVERYBODY ELSE.
As if the start to the new year couldn't get more auspicious, Mariah later posted a picture of herself enjoying said tea, giving us the shadiest, most glamorous inaugural meme of 2018.
(Bonus: The massive rock displayed on her middle finger is her engagement ring from ex-fiance James Packer, whom she sued after their breakup for $50 million -- what she called an "inconvenience fee.")
The "But that's none of my business" Kermit meme may not survive. We have a new tea queen, and people took notice.
Bless this mess. In 2018, may we all get the tea we so desire.